Being healthy means:
1 to have a glow,
2 to wake up each day and proclaim
“This is the day the Lord has made –
I will rejoice and be glad in it.”
3 to be enthusiastic and full of energy
4 to welcome any challenge that the Lord may have in store daily
5 to continue to rejoice in all things.
Being healthy is not purely the absence of illness.
Good eating habits based on variety and moderation contribute to good health.
To maintain health it is essential to eat enough of the correct foods daily, so that the body receives all the vitamins, minerals, building and energy that it needs.
There are many fad diets on the market –
some are scientifically correct, some are harmful to health.
We all need some knowledge of nutrition to be able to make the right choices. The correct decisions include the five food groups in our three meals each day.
1 Fruit and vegetables
2 Grain and grain products
3 Meat and meat products
4 Milk and milk products
5 Fats and oils
Foods are classified in the following groups in order to simplify the compilation of a daily balanced diet –
1 Vitamins and minerals for nourishing – eat freely
2 Carbohydrates for energy – eat generously to moderately
3 Protein for building and repairing – eat moderately
EAT MOST: Fruit and Vegetables, Grains and grain products
EAT MODERATELY: Meat and animal products, milk and milk products
EAT LEAST: Fats and oils, sugar and alcohol
Homework – 5a
Think about what you are eating and feeding those in your household.
Make better choices every day.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
EATRITE - 4j - Agreeing with God, Walking with God
Amos 3:3 “Can two walk together except they be agreed?”
Genesis 5:24 “And Enoch walked with God:”
1. Many people DESIRE to walk with God.
How can we truly walk with God, unless we agree with God.
To agree with God is to say the same things He said in His Word… about salvation, healing, answers to prayers, and everything else He tells us.
We must know that God cannot lie. Since he cannot lie, everything He tells us must be true - so it should become easy for us to be able to agree with what He tells us. The Bible calls agreeing with God “having faith.”
Hebrews 11:5.6:
“By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God. But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”
2. We must agree with God that we are who God says we are: His heaven-born children, new creatures in Christ, more than conquerors through Christ.
We must disagree with the devil who tries to tell us we are “no good,” “a failure,” “a weakling,” “a bad Christian.”
We have to agree with God and disagree with the devil in order to walk with God.
3. We must agree with God that we have what He says we have: His name, His nature, His power, His authority, His love.
Through His word, we own these things already – but we must take possession of them by our spoken words. We possess what we confess. Like Joshua and Caleb, we are the rightful owners of what God has already given us in His word – but we have to take possession of our “promised land” by faith.
4. Enoch walked with God – and so do we by agreeing that God has given us the ability to do what God says we can do: witness with power, cast out demons, lay hands on the sick and have them recover.
“We can do all things through Christ.”
5. If we speak only what our senses dictate, or what the doctor (or accountant, or scientist, or whatever) tells us, then we will not necessarily agree with God.
It is by “speaking the word only” that we agree with God.
It is “a good confession” of our faith that is our victory.
6. In order to walk with God, we must disagree with the devil.
Jesus did this by boldly declaring “It is written,” when he was tempted in the wilderness. (Matthew 4, Luke 4.)
We too, must resist the devil by the Word.
7. Daily we must walk with God by agreeing with God and His Word.
“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for he hath said, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.
So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what men shall do unto me.” (Hebrews 13:5,6)
- Leslie Hand
Homework 4j:
Boldly say every day – as many times as you need to say it:
“The Lord is my helper. I choose to agree with Him.
I will not fear. I will walk with Him.
I will resist this harmful thing I want to do to myself/him/her”
Or make your own declaration and say it to yourself every day.
Genesis 5:24 “And Enoch walked with God:”
1. Many people DESIRE to walk with God.
How can we truly walk with God, unless we agree with God.
To agree with God is to say the same things He said in His Word… about salvation, healing, answers to prayers, and everything else He tells us.
We must know that God cannot lie. Since he cannot lie, everything He tells us must be true - so it should become easy for us to be able to agree with what He tells us. The Bible calls agreeing with God “having faith.”
Hebrews 11:5.6:
“By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God. But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”
2. We must agree with God that we are who God says we are: His heaven-born children, new creatures in Christ, more than conquerors through Christ.
We must disagree with the devil who tries to tell us we are “no good,” “a failure,” “a weakling,” “a bad Christian.”
We have to agree with God and disagree with the devil in order to walk with God.
3. We must agree with God that we have what He says we have: His name, His nature, His power, His authority, His love.
Through His word, we own these things already – but we must take possession of them by our spoken words. We possess what we confess. Like Joshua and Caleb, we are the rightful owners of what God has already given us in His word – but we have to take possession of our “promised land” by faith.
4. Enoch walked with God – and so do we by agreeing that God has given us the ability to do what God says we can do: witness with power, cast out demons, lay hands on the sick and have them recover.
“We can do all things through Christ.”
5. If we speak only what our senses dictate, or what the doctor (or accountant, or scientist, or whatever) tells us, then we will not necessarily agree with God.
It is by “speaking the word only” that we agree with God.
It is “a good confession” of our faith that is our victory.
6. In order to walk with God, we must disagree with the devil.
Jesus did this by boldly declaring “It is written,” when he was tempted in the wilderness. (Matthew 4, Luke 4.)
We too, must resist the devil by the Word.
7. Daily we must walk with God by agreeing with God and His Word.
“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for he hath said, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.
So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what men shall do unto me.” (Hebrews 13:5,6)
- Leslie Hand
Homework 4j:
Boldly say every day – as many times as you need to say it:
“The Lord is my helper. I choose to agree with Him.
I will not fear. I will walk with Him.
I will resist this harmful thing I want to do to myself/him/her”
Or make your own declaration and say it to yourself every day.
Monday, December 22, 2008
EATRITE - 4i - Knowing the Will of God
Proverbs 4:20-22
Have you ever thought about the effect being overweight has on your health? Millions of people every day harm their bodies in foolish ways. Think of the ways YOU have made YOUR body fat and unhealthy…
The Word of God leads us into health.
The Word of God is our health.
If you love God, your love for your own body (the temple of the Holy Spirit)
will motivate you to take good care of it.
Proverbs 4:24
The Word of God does away with devious lips.
The will of the Lord is that we love in honesty and truth.
Our actions and deeds should not be hidden behind the kitchen door.
The will of the Lord is that our lives be pure enough not to shame us at any time.
We can shout, sing praises to the Lord one minute, and the next minute use this same mouth to over-indulge in our favourite foods!
It is not God’s will that we kill ourselves with what we shovel into our bodies with a knife, fork or spoon.
We were born to eat, not to diet and binge.
It is God’s will that our enemy “lack of self-discipline” be destroyed in us.
It is not God’s will that we be addicted to junk foods.
Eating the foods that Jesus would eat takes a little thought.
Do you have devious lips?
Let me enlarge on what devious lips do.
Devious lips devour burnt biscuits as though they didn’t have any calories.
Devious lips eat off other plates whilst cleaning up after a meal.
Devious lips gobble up the cake crumbs from around the cake etc.
A deceitful mouth is a grumbling mouth.
Deceit is lying.
When you grumble, you are lying. WOW!
You are saying “HE is allowed to have a rich dessert, and I have to eat cottage choose or fruit! Who needs all this suffering? - this is awful!”
The truth is:
“Thank you God I do not eat as I used to – I can say NO now!"
"Thank you God for the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling in me. "
"Thank you, Jesus Christ, for strength and help.”
Remember, your grateful heart will wash away the deceit of the enemy’s lies.
Your grateful heart swells with love and gratitude.
If you stumble, you can say “I am sorry,” and pick yourself up.
Start all over again.
Don’t plan any failures. You can be your healthy weight with your mind fixed on Jesus Christ.
Colossians 1:9b-11
- Leslie Hand
Homework 4i:
Put away from you your froward and perverse mouth. Proverbs 4:24
Eat the foods Jesus would eat.
Eat the way Jesus would eat his food.
Put away far from you your deceits and lies.
Have you ever thought about the effect being overweight has on your health? Millions of people every day harm their bodies in foolish ways. Think of the ways YOU have made YOUR body fat and unhealthy…
The Word of God leads us into health.
The Word of God is our health.
If you love God, your love for your own body (the temple of the Holy Spirit)
will motivate you to take good care of it.
Proverbs 4:24
The Word of God does away with devious lips.
The will of the Lord is that we love in honesty and truth.
Our actions and deeds should not be hidden behind the kitchen door.
The will of the Lord is that our lives be pure enough not to shame us at any time.
We can shout, sing praises to the Lord one minute, and the next minute use this same mouth to over-indulge in our favourite foods!
It is not God’s will that we kill ourselves with what we shovel into our bodies with a knife, fork or spoon.
We were born to eat, not to diet and binge.
It is God’s will that our enemy “lack of self-discipline” be destroyed in us.
It is not God’s will that we be addicted to junk foods.
Eating the foods that Jesus would eat takes a little thought.
Do you have devious lips?
Let me enlarge on what devious lips do.
Devious lips devour burnt biscuits as though they didn’t have any calories.
Devious lips eat off other plates whilst cleaning up after a meal.
Devious lips gobble up the cake crumbs from around the cake etc.
A deceitful mouth is a grumbling mouth.
Deceit is lying.
When you grumble, you are lying. WOW!
You are saying “HE is allowed to have a rich dessert, and I have to eat cottage choose or fruit! Who needs all this suffering? - this is awful!”
The truth is:
“Thank you God I do not eat as I used to – I can say NO now!"
"Thank you God for the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling in me. "
"Thank you, Jesus Christ, for strength and help.”
Remember, your grateful heart will wash away the deceit of the enemy’s lies.
Your grateful heart swells with love and gratitude.
If you stumble, you can say “I am sorry,” and pick yourself up.
Start all over again.
Don’t plan any failures. You can be your healthy weight with your mind fixed on Jesus Christ.
Colossians 1:9b-11
- Leslie Hand
Homework 4i:
Put away from you your froward and perverse mouth. Proverbs 4:24
Eat the foods Jesus would eat.
Eat the way Jesus would eat his food.
Put away far from you your deceits and lies.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
EATRITE - 4h - The Powere of "Mere" Words
James 1:26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.
1 Peter 3:10 For he that will live life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.
Proverbs 15:4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the Spirit.
Psalm 141:3 Set a watch O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.
Proverbs 24:16 Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health the bones.
Proverbs 10:19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that restraineth his lips is wise.
Proverbs 10:21 The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom.
Matthew 10:31,32 Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him shall I confess also before my father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him shall I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
Luke 21:15 I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which all your adversaries shall not be able to gainsay nor resist.
Romans 10:10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness: and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
Matthew 12:36,37 Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
Proverbs 15:23 A man hath joy by answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!
Proverbs 10:11 The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life.
Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue, keepeth his soul from troubles.
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good.
Homework 4h:
Choose one of these scriptures as your affirmation for each day of the week.
Watch your words to and about your Heavenly Father, yourself and others every day.
EATRITE – Leslie Hand
1 Peter 3:10 For he that will live life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.
Proverbs 15:4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the Spirit.
Psalm 141:3 Set a watch O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.
Proverbs 24:16 Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health the bones.
Proverbs 10:19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that restraineth his lips is wise.
Proverbs 10:21 The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom.
Matthew 10:31,32 Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him shall I confess also before my father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him shall I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
Luke 21:15 I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which all your adversaries shall not be able to gainsay nor resist.
Romans 10:10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness: and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
Matthew 12:36,37 Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
Proverbs 15:23 A man hath joy by answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!
Proverbs 10:11 The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life.
Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue, keepeth his soul from troubles.
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good.
Homework 4h:
Choose one of these scriptures as your affirmation for each day of the week.
Watch your words to and about your Heavenly Father, yourself and others every day.
EATRITE – Leslie Hand
EATRITE - 4g - Wrong Decisions
We are human and therefore, somewhere along the road, we are going to make wrong decisions and wrong choices.
Paul was such a man. He made a wrong decision by persecuting the followers of Jesus Christ. Acts 8:3, 26:10, Galatians 1:13
The wrong decisions and choices we make don’t need to cripple us.
We can choose to stop doing what we are doing and turn around.
We can start all over again.
A lapse doesn’t need to become a relapse, leading to a collapse.
There are certain preventative measures we can take! Paul was a good example because he learnt how to about-face and live his life differently – valiantly for the rest of his life. See the book of Acts and Paul’s epistles.
Have you made a decision, which in retrospect was wrong?
Have you experienced that the wrong decision resulted in your being in a sinful situation, and possibly beyond your own control?
God is bigger than your every situation.
He is bigger than the painful consequences of that wrong decision.
If you are in such a place, go to God and ask Him to act in your behalf too.
The steps to righting a wrong are painful… but simple.
Admit your mistakes – one by one.
Repent of the sins your actions/lack of actions brought about.
Respond to God. Don’t react to your situation.
Throw yourself on God’s mercy.
If you have the faith, He will remove your “mountain of human obstacles.”
Seek counsel from your trusted buddies and advisors – His servants.
Rest in the Lord.
Allow Him to direct you and your paths – be His servant.
Homework: Don’t stay wrong long.
Thanks: EATRITE – Leslie Hand
Paul was such a man. He made a wrong decision by persecuting the followers of Jesus Christ. Acts 8:3, 26:10, Galatians 1:13
The wrong decisions and choices we make don’t need to cripple us.
We can choose to stop doing what we are doing and turn around.
We can start all over again.
A lapse doesn’t need to become a relapse, leading to a collapse.
There are certain preventative measures we can take! Paul was a good example because he learnt how to about-face and live his life differently – valiantly for the rest of his life. See the book of Acts and Paul’s epistles.
Have you made a decision, which in retrospect was wrong?
Have you experienced that the wrong decision resulted in your being in a sinful situation, and possibly beyond your own control?
God is bigger than your every situation.
He is bigger than the painful consequences of that wrong decision.
If you are in such a place, go to God and ask Him to act in your behalf too.
The steps to righting a wrong are painful… but simple.
Admit your mistakes – one by one.
Repent of the sins your actions/lack of actions brought about.
Respond to God. Don’t react to your situation.
Throw yourself on God’s mercy.
If you have the faith, He will remove your “mountain of human obstacles.”
Seek counsel from your trusted buddies and advisors – His servants.
Rest in the Lord.
Allow Him to direct you and your paths – be His servant.
Homework: Don’t stay wrong long.
Thanks: EATRITE – Leslie Hand
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
EATRITE - 4f - Loss and Grieving
ACTION SHEET
We have all been through one trauma or another .
It may not appear to show on the outside of some people...
but the sentence above IS true.
Trauma is about loss.
Any loss causes sadness and grief:
loss of a loved one,
loss of a job,
an ailing or broken relationship,
loss of health or wealth,
loss of trust... etc.
There are certain stages that we NEED to go through (and not be stuck IN) before we can find our mental and spiritual healing on the other side of our periodic traumatic events.
Shock and/or Denial (Numbness)
This stage is immediately after the life-changing event – the loss.
“I don’t believe it!”
“This couldn’t have happened!”
“This is no big deal…”
“No big deal... I’ll get over this easily…”
God has given us this protective defense mechanism essential to human survival. This enables us to live through our disasters and times of devastation.
This period is usually brief (up to about 12 weeks) and allows the person to progress though the initial, difficult and urgent stage of healing.
*The majority of food-addicted people have been frozen in shock and denial for years. Emotionally they have denied their feelings and physically they have tranquillized their feelings with food, just as a drug-dependent person would have done with drugs.
*If you have been frozen in shock and denial for many years, it may take some time to thaw out these feelings.
*It is therefore imperative that you keep going over the relationship survey (2a - Exploration and Discovery), saying your "goodbyes" and keeping track of your feelings in your journal daily. Give yourself time to discover, and experience, what you haven’t been able to allow yourself to be aware that you were/are feeling.
*To get past the shock and denial stage you need to make a list of all the losses your addiction has cost you. As you write, don’t stop yourself at any point. Allow the memories to flow. Think about the various aspects of your life – social, physical, spiritual and emotional in which you have experienced losses related to your weight.
Anger
Once you have done lots of working through the shock and denial process, you will likely feel your anger welling up. Nearly every compulsive eater is angry either at themselves or others - or both.
There are three major forms of anger:
Anger directed outward: Conventional anger, which leads to a person shaking fists at God or someone/something else. We call this "acting out".
Anger directed inward: towards self, often manifesting in "depression".
Anger which is projected: Their anger towards themselves and their addiction is projected onto those around them. They see anger in others which they can’t see/allow themselves to see in themselves.
Angry people deny that the real problem is discontent caused by low self-esteem.
Angry people feel angry and ashamed because of their helplessness and weakness to overcome their addiction.
There is also legitimate anger.
Anger is a normal, healthy reaction to certain circumstances and relationships.
Some people may express their anger through eating, if they don’t know how to express it in a healthy way.
Anger inside of you must come out!
The healthiest way to externalize your anger is the verbal way – spoken or written.
Role-playing is another way to get your anger out – in this there is more freedom to express strong emotions.
Sometimes your anger may need to be expressed physically. Dance, work, exercise.
If you suffer anger directed inwards, you could externalize it by talking to yourself in a mirror.
Go easy on you – you are wonderful and fearfully made.
Expressing your feelings in your journal is a good way of sorting them out.
Anger is emotionally consuming - confine it to certain "expression times".
Bargaining
After the anger one usually experiences a let-down – a feeling of being totally emotionally drained - exhausted.
In the calm after the storm it is normal for people to start bargaining about the situation.
They might try to bargain with God. “Just help me (lose weight) and I’ll…”
Food addicts will often bargain by finding a ‘magic diet’ which leads to the yo-yo dieting cycle being continued again.
When you find yourself at this stage, take comfort – you are making progress.
The truth is:
You won’t be more loveable when you get thin enough.
The truth is:
Your self-worth is not founded on anything conditional.
Your worth as a human being must be founded on this truth –
You are loveable because you are a child of God, unique and created in His image, saved by His grace which is freely given to you in love.
In this truth about yourself, find the courage to move ahead into the next stage of True Grief.
True Grief/Depression
Weeping is the most honest expression of True Grief.
Tears bring cleansing as if the emotional wounds are being physically washed.
Males cry too: “Jesus wept”.
Males and females whose tears have been kept in check for years are as God created them – their legitimate tears are waiting to do their healing work. Let them flow.
One must feel fully the grief over the "hold" of the food addiction itself.
There are the other losses we all experience: relationships, innocence, experiences, career - and other advances - that passed you by etc.
True Grief may come in small pockets of isolated mourning.
True Grief may come in overwhelming floods.
Grieving must be done over and over in our lives: we experience losses over and over.
Peel back the layers of your grief, your anger, your depression and sadness.
Feel your True Grief regularly during your life.
Acceptance, Forgiveness and Resolution = PEACE
The ultimate goal of your grief work is this three faceted, precious gem of PEACE.
Acceptance can be an act of your will.
From such a decision, you work to achieve true emotional and spiritual forgiveness.
Resolution is an inner knowledge.
"This Focus Issue is laid to rest by me."
"This is laid at the feet of my Saviour. "
PEACE is yours.
Acceptance:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – The Serenity Prayer
One must choose to accept the past-ness of the past events and actions of one’s life. They cannot be changed, denied or minimized.
Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.
You and I can only make changes in the present once the stark reality of the past is accepted.
Forgiveness:
We Christians believe it is our duty to forgive and so the work of forgiveness may not be thoroughly done.
Intellectual and Spiritual forgiveness is important, but all the stages of forgiveness need to be worked through until eventually Emotional forgiveness settles peacefully in upon us in the depths of our body, mind and spirit.
Active forgiveness: Forgive yourself. Forgive others.
Receptive forgiveness: Accept forgiveness from others whom we have/do injure. Accept forgiveness from God.
Resolution: "This is finished!" maybe until next time it wells up?
Then remind yourself "THIS is FINISHED..."
Homework - 4f:
Whom are all the people I need to forgive for hurting me?
Name them, and nature of hurt.
(Whether they have changed their behaviour yet or not, I choose to forgive them)
In what ways do I need to forgive myself?
Be specific.
(I choose to leave being my own worst enemy and become my own best friend)
From whom do I still need to go and seek forgiveness?
Name the people.
How?
When?
(I realize that they might not be able to forgive me yet – However... I can do my part humbly)
Psalm 103:3 David says God is a forgiving God…
In what ways do I feel the forgiveness and mercy of God in my life?
In the sight of God, no-one is less loveable than any other.
No-one is any harder for God to forgive than anyone else.
He knows how to forgive us all.
We can learn to forgive as He forgives.
Walking His way, kneeling at His feet, and doing His works – these are the only places where we all can feel His “Peace that passes all understanding.”
Resolution is the opposite of resentment.
Resentment is unresolved anger that continues to boil away inside, creating increasing pressure within until it erupts.
Resolution is a sense of health, cleanliness and peace that comes from knowing this issue has been put to rest – at least by me.
To reach this point takes time.
Be prepared for up to two to five years - or more - of patient, deliberate, hopeful, physical, mental and spiritual healing work.
"This problem is resolved, inasmuch as I am able to process it now… Other dimensions of this problem may still come... I will process them then if they do"
Other problems will come in my life - that is what growth is all about – they always do… I am getting better at solving problems."
"In this matter I can walk in humility and confidence, with freed energy..."
"I have increased experience, skill and hope in this type of life-changing event…"
"I can proceed from here, onward into my 'custom-designed-by God' future…"
Thanks: Leslie Hand
We have all been through one trauma or another .
It may not appear to show on the outside of some people...
but the sentence above IS true.
Trauma is about loss.
Any loss causes sadness and grief:
loss of a loved one,
loss of a job,
an ailing or broken relationship,
loss of health or wealth,
loss of trust... etc.
There are certain stages that we NEED to go through (and not be stuck IN) before we can find our mental and spiritual healing on the other side of our periodic traumatic events.
Shock and/or Denial (Numbness)
This stage is immediately after the life-changing event – the loss.
“I don’t believe it!”
“This couldn’t have happened!”
“This is no big deal…”
“No big deal... I’ll get over this easily…”
God has given us this protective defense mechanism essential to human survival. This enables us to live through our disasters and times of devastation.
This period is usually brief (up to about 12 weeks) and allows the person to progress though the initial, difficult and urgent stage of healing.
*The majority of food-addicted people have been frozen in shock and denial for years. Emotionally they have denied their feelings and physically they have tranquillized their feelings with food, just as a drug-dependent person would have done with drugs.
*If you have been frozen in shock and denial for many years, it may take some time to thaw out these feelings.
*It is therefore imperative that you keep going over the relationship survey (2a - Exploration and Discovery), saying your "goodbyes" and keeping track of your feelings in your journal daily. Give yourself time to discover, and experience, what you haven’t been able to allow yourself to be aware that you were/are feeling.
*To get past the shock and denial stage you need to make a list of all the losses your addiction has cost you. As you write, don’t stop yourself at any point. Allow the memories to flow. Think about the various aspects of your life – social, physical, spiritual and emotional in which you have experienced losses related to your weight.
Anger
Once you have done lots of working through the shock and denial process, you will likely feel your anger welling up. Nearly every compulsive eater is angry either at themselves or others - or both.
There are three major forms of anger:
Anger directed outward: Conventional anger, which leads to a person shaking fists at God or someone/something else. We call this "acting out".
Anger directed inward: towards self, often manifesting in "depression".
Anger which is projected: Their anger towards themselves and their addiction is projected onto those around them. They see anger in others which they can’t see/allow themselves to see in themselves.
Angry people deny that the real problem is discontent caused by low self-esteem.
Angry people feel angry and ashamed because of their helplessness and weakness to overcome their addiction.
There is also legitimate anger.
Anger is a normal, healthy reaction to certain circumstances and relationships.
Some people may express their anger through eating, if they don’t know how to express it in a healthy way.
Anger inside of you must come out!
The healthiest way to externalize your anger is the verbal way – spoken or written.
Role-playing is another way to get your anger out – in this there is more freedom to express strong emotions.
Sometimes your anger may need to be expressed physically. Dance, work, exercise.
If you suffer anger directed inwards, you could externalize it by talking to yourself in a mirror.
Go easy on you – you are wonderful and fearfully made.
Expressing your feelings in your journal is a good way of sorting them out.
Anger is emotionally consuming - confine it to certain "expression times".
Bargaining
After the anger one usually experiences a let-down – a feeling of being totally emotionally drained - exhausted.
In the calm after the storm it is normal for people to start bargaining about the situation.
They might try to bargain with God. “Just help me (lose weight) and I’ll…”
Food addicts will often bargain by finding a ‘magic diet’ which leads to the yo-yo dieting cycle being continued again.
When you find yourself at this stage, take comfort – you are making progress.
The truth is:
You won’t be more loveable when you get thin enough.
The truth is:
Your self-worth is not founded on anything conditional.
Your worth as a human being must be founded on this truth –
You are loveable because you are a child of God, unique and created in His image, saved by His grace which is freely given to you in love.
In this truth about yourself, find the courage to move ahead into the next stage of True Grief.
True Grief/Depression
Weeping is the most honest expression of True Grief.
Tears bring cleansing as if the emotional wounds are being physically washed.
Males cry too: “Jesus wept”.
Males and females whose tears have been kept in check for years are as God created them – their legitimate tears are waiting to do their healing work. Let them flow.
One must feel fully the grief over the "hold" of the food addiction itself.
There are the other losses we all experience: relationships, innocence, experiences, career - and other advances - that passed you by etc.
True Grief may come in small pockets of isolated mourning.
True Grief may come in overwhelming floods.
Grieving must be done over and over in our lives: we experience losses over and over.
Peel back the layers of your grief, your anger, your depression and sadness.
Feel your True Grief regularly during your life.
Acceptance, Forgiveness and Resolution = PEACE
The ultimate goal of your grief work is this three faceted, precious gem of PEACE.
Acceptance can be an act of your will.
From such a decision, you work to achieve true emotional and spiritual forgiveness.
Resolution is an inner knowledge.
"This Focus Issue is laid to rest by me."
"This is laid at the feet of my Saviour. "
PEACE is yours.
Acceptance:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – The Serenity Prayer
One must choose to accept the past-ness of the past events and actions of one’s life. They cannot be changed, denied or minimized.
Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.
You and I can only make changes in the present once the stark reality of the past is accepted.
Forgiveness:
We Christians believe it is our duty to forgive and so the work of forgiveness may not be thoroughly done.
Intellectual and Spiritual forgiveness is important, but all the stages of forgiveness need to be worked through until eventually Emotional forgiveness settles peacefully in upon us in the depths of our body, mind and spirit.
Active forgiveness: Forgive yourself. Forgive others.
Receptive forgiveness: Accept forgiveness from others whom we have/do injure. Accept forgiveness from God.
Resolution: "This is finished!" maybe until next time it wells up?
Then remind yourself "THIS is FINISHED..."
Homework - 4f:
Whom are all the people I need to forgive for hurting me?
Name them, and nature of hurt.
(Whether they have changed their behaviour yet or not, I choose to forgive them)
In what ways do I need to forgive myself?
Be specific.
(I choose to leave being my own worst enemy and become my own best friend)
From whom do I still need to go and seek forgiveness?
Name the people.
How?
When?
(I realize that they might not be able to forgive me yet – However... I can do my part humbly)
Psalm 103:3 David says God is a forgiving God…
In what ways do I feel the forgiveness and mercy of God in my life?
In the sight of God, no-one is less loveable than any other.
No-one is any harder for God to forgive than anyone else.
He knows how to forgive us all.
We can learn to forgive as He forgives.
Walking His way, kneeling at His feet, and doing His works – these are the only places where we all can feel His “Peace that passes all understanding.”
Resolution is the opposite of resentment.
Resentment is unresolved anger that continues to boil away inside, creating increasing pressure within until it erupts.
Resolution is a sense of health, cleanliness and peace that comes from knowing this issue has been put to rest – at least by me.
To reach this point takes time.
Be prepared for up to two to five years - or more - of patient, deliberate, hopeful, physical, mental and spiritual healing work.
"This problem is resolved, inasmuch as I am able to process it now… Other dimensions of this problem may still come... I will process them then if they do"
Other problems will come in my life - that is what growth is all about – they always do… I am getting better at solving problems."
"In this matter I can walk in humility and confidence, with freed energy..."
"I have increased experience, skill and hope in this type of life-changing event…"
"I can proceed from here, onward into my 'custom-designed-by God' future…"
Thanks: Leslie Hand
Monday, December 8, 2008
EATRITE - 4e - "My Child" Meditation
My child, I love you.
I love you unconditionally.
I love you, good or bad, with no strings attached.
I love you like this, because I know all about you.
I have known you ever since you were a child.
I know what I can do for you.
I know what I want for you.
My child, I accept you.
I accept you just as you are.
You don’t need to change yourself, I’ll do the changing when you are ready.
I love you just as you are.
Believe this – for I assure you it’s true.
My child, I care about you.
I care about every big or little thing that happens to you. Believe this.
I care enough to do something about it.
Remember this.
I will help you when you need me. Ask me.
I love you.
I accept you.
I care about you.
My child, I forgive you.
I forgive you and my forgiveness is complete.
Not like humans who forgive and cannot forget.
I love you.
My arms are open with love.
Please come here! Come to me!
I forgive you.
Do not carry your guilt another moment.
I carried it all for you on the cross (and in Gethsamane).
Believe this. It is true.
From EATRITE – Leslie Hand
Homework 4e:
Fats and Sugars – notice, continue cutting them down.
Second Helpings.
“Yes please” “No thank you”.
Affirmations.
Exercise.
Prayer.
Your “Heart”.
Eating Places.
Bahaviour Chains.
Persist daily.
I love you unconditionally.
I love you, good or bad, with no strings attached.
I love you like this, because I know all about you.
I have known you ever since you were a child.
I know what I can do for you.
I know what I want for you.
My child, I accept you.
I accept you just as you are.
You don’t need to change yourself, I’ll do the changing when you are ready.
I love you just as you are.
Believe this – for I assure you it’s true.
My child, I care about you.
I care about every big or little thing that happens to you. Believe this.
I care enough to do something about it.
Remember this.
I will help you when you need me. Ask me.
I love you.
I accept you.
I care about you.
My child, I forgive you.
I forgive you and my forgiveness is complete.
Not like humans who forgive and cannot forget.
I love you.
My arms are open with love.
Please come here! Come to me!
I forgive you.
Do not carry your guilt another moment.
I carried it all for you on the cross (and in Gethsamane).
Believe this. It is true.
From EATRITE – Leslie Hand
Homework 4e:
Fats and Sugars – notice, continue cutting them down.
Second Helpings.
“Yes please” “No thank you”.
Affirmations.
Exercise.
Prayer.
Your “Heart”.
Eating Places.
Bahaviour Chains.
Persist daily.
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